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It's a mad, mad world
The texts are written by me for fun and are partly based on real conversations.
User Error
-There's nothing wrong with your computer.
-But...
-The problem exists between keyboard and chair.
-I don't understand.
-Exactly.
The computer technician (who got his degree from the university above the laundry shop)
Long time ago when we still used floppy disks, the floppy driver died and killed my computer too. The guy who was supposed to fix it - after failing to find what the problem was - took it with him and held it for a week or so. He erased all my files from the hard disk and threw the disk away (just in case I tried to recover them...). Then he replaced the disk and brought me back the computer with the exact same problem, but without my files.
Here's some stuff that idiot told me when he was supposed to be fixing my computer before he took it with him:
- Are you sure that was the original file? (No, it was a copy that suffered from dissociative identity disorder and thought it was the original...)
- Hmm, now I'll just type this... (and then everything went blank)
- {In a surprised yet quiet voice: Ooops.} Ok, you can't do that anymore. It's broken. (of course it's broken since you broke it, moron)
- There is nothing you can do. Leave it to the profession.... Wow!! How did you do that? Nice!... (He is asking me??? Wasn't the pro supposed to know?)
- What the hell? (I've been asking the same question...)
- Do you have a license for this app? Mine's cracked and for some reason it keeps crashing! (Why God, why?)
Things you don't want to hear during a surgery
I've added a few to the list.
- But I thought this was an autopsy?!
- Wow! Never seen this before!
- I'm so excited! My first surgery!
- Yuck! I can't stand the sight of blood!
- Give me the morphine! Yes..., no! No, it's for me. Trying to quit heroine.
- Yes, I know what I'm doing! Jeez! You accidentally kill one person and everyone thinks you are useless!
- ...and if everything goes ok, in six months they will give me back my license and I will be able to practise medicine legally again.
